I have seemed to of forgot a major part of being able to go out and race or drive or whatever with Valarie. The car. See with all the dreaming and drooling and other minor distractions (school, career, etc) I have seemed to forgot that the very first piece of this whole muscle car puzzle is to actually be able to drive the car. Actually, I am getting ahead of myself – I need to be able to start the car first, then worry about driving it. While I have a good excuse right now for not working on it – having all of, maybe 6 hours to work on it between school and trying to keep my career as close to full time as possible – I won’t have that excuse in about 6 weeks.
Of course that isn’t the only thing holding me back, I have quite a problem with anxiety and perfectionism, meaning I am constantly worried about things, constantly self-doubting, and by me wanting and almost expecting everything to go perfect, I only amplify the anxiety problems. Anxiety and perfectionism is something I have faced in everything I do, and I think it may be an underlying cause as to why I don’t do some of the things I would like to do in life. Anxiety and perfectionism suck the fun out of things that are supposed to be fun, and who wants to do things during their free time that aren’t fun? Work is work, but hobbies are supposed to be fun, and I guess between thinking I should be perfect at things and constantly worrying about not doing something right or being able to do something well enough to make it something I can be proud of and show others.
So that is what I need to figure out, and the one thing I do love about this blog, even if almost no one reads it – it lets me think and figure things out as I type them out, giving me better understanding as to what the issues are and how I need to fix them.
Winners find the flaws in conventional logic and exploit them
–Sooner Dead
